Life throws us all sorts of curve balls. These curve balls may feel like a ripple one day and a wave the next. Sometimes I throw my hands up in the air and say “Why me?” My mom recently said, “Why not you?” Ok, thanks Mom. Yes, why not me? Why should I be exempt from the trials and frustrations that ultimately make me grow and shift into the being I was created to be. Looking back on some of the worst experiences I have been through, those are what have defined me. Those are the experiences that have built strength and character. I would not change it.
Yesterday morning I was feeling very overwhelmed. So… I headed to the water. I paddled like hell out to this cove and intended to continue. I wanted to just hammer out the frustrations, the stress, the overwhelming dark cloud that pushed down on me. Then I heard it. That little voice inside my head spoke to me and I actually listened. It said “Stop! Just STOP.” So I did. I stopped. I pulled over into the cove and actually laid down on my board, in the sun, on top of the still, glassy water. I looked straight up and watched the clouds slowly tracking across the sky. I saw birds fly in and out of my line of sight. I saw a plane disappear behind the clouds. I listened to the sounds of silence. The voices of self-doubt quieted and I felt peace.
I looked to the side and watched the water. It was so still but it looked like it was flying past me. It reminded me of sitting in the back seat of a car traveling on a highway. You know, that view where it’s going so fast it’s just a blur. That’s what it looked like even though it wasn’t really moving. It was a bit of an epiphany for me. Those who know me know that I go and go and go. My version of stillness is moving. Not yesterday though. My version of stillness was stillness. Everything around me seemed to be in a chaotic movement but I was still and I was at peace. It was such a refreshing feeling. It was such a good reminder that sometimes I do need to literally STOP in order to silence the self-doubt and overcome negative thoughts. It was a beautiful morning. There’s nothing like laying on the water staring up at the clouds. I think I’ll be doing that again sometime very soon. You should try it. You just might feel a blanket of peace pressing down on you.